As I Suspected


The charming and gracious Monica over at her blog, Tarot in a Teacup, did a spread the other day asking, “What is my true self?” She got a lovely three cards: The Fool, the Lovers and The Magician.

Well, some people are born under a lucky star. Others of us (moi, for instance) seem to have been born under a black hole. But I thought, this sounds lovely, and as I’ve been wanting to do more in-depth self-exploration, I thought I’d tempt fate and see what comes up. Naturally I was expecting the most dire cards, or something self-defeating and nothing in the Majors. Snork. I wasn’t far off. I first reached for my new Wizards Tarot, thinking a deck designed around the idea of teaching and learning was ideal, simply ideal, for this sort of thing. ::sound of sucking teeth:: I did, however, phrase the question wrong this time, and said, “Tell me about me.” Splitting hairs? Not really. There are many facets to each of us, and here are the three the Wizards Tarot decided to talk about:


Ok, I’m a troll. An awful lot of male, phallic symbolism here.Β  :::pursing lips in annoyance::: I kind of think of the King there like the goblins at Gringotts Bank. Tough, pragmatic, likes things to balance out and everything is very black and white. Then we have the Ace of Wands. Creative fire, the flames in the shape of Yods mapping out the Kabbalistic Tree of Life. Followed by (cue creepy organ music) The Tower. At least in this deck, the tower is a place of learning. The staircase is shaped like the double helix of DNA. In this deck it signifies evolution, growth, and the climb to achievement and success (along with the usual meanings of upheaval, destruction, ruin). It’s purification, in no uncertain terms.

I tried pulling cards a couple more times, but I felt like I wasn’t concentrating properly and didn’t really feel a connection at the time. Finally, I pulled out my beloved Bohemian Gothic, tried to ground and center while holding them, and rethought the question, asking “What is my true self?” I felt better about it this time, and here’s what I got:

So what is going on here? First thing I thought of when I saw the Tower was ‘Gag me! Again with the Tower. And another King. And a Knight (and Pentacles, to boot). No tra-la-la lovely Majors. Fine, I give. Clearly there’s something here I’m not seeing. Maybe the two ways I phrased the question weren’t so different after all. I’ll have to spend some time ruminating on these cards.


14 thoughts on “As I Suspected

  1. Hmmmm… It is important to phrase the question right, and I believe equally important what energy and intentions you hold while asking/shuffling. As my teacher pointed out, the boundaries of your question define the boundaries of the answer. That aside, the Tower is obviously important. Lightning strike! Freedom, breaking free and so on. Of course there are negative aspects to it and it is such a complex card this one. Stay with it for a while and see what insights you get further down the track πŸ™‚

  2. This one will take some time I think to sift through. I have to admit, I do love that King of Swords in the Bohemian Gothic. I’m going to do some meditating on him, he’s really calling to me right now. πŸ™‚

  3. OK, you’re the expert here, not I, but is all that butch phallic imagery encouraging you to acknowledge your masculine characteristics? Or is the masculine energy drawn to you – not a bad thing, if the bearer of that energy is nice-looking…

    Here’s what I was able to find out about the Tower card in wizard mythology: “Chapter 27 of the 2005 novel Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is entitled ‘The Lightning-Struck Tower.’ Appropriately to the card’s meaning, events in this chapter – which takes place within a tower – force Harry to abandon many of the pretenses he has clung to throughout the book.” Abandoning pretenses sounds worthwhile, no?

  4. Eeesh, where did you find that? That’s the only one of the HP books I don’t have. I dunno, I think you need to take up the Tarot, you make some good observations πŸ™‚

    I’m not sure it’s telling me to do anything. Based on the question, this is who I really am. What I do about, or with, that information is something else. According to Uncle Al (Aleister Crowley), this trump is “the manifestation of cosmic energy in its grossest form.” Associated with Mars, the colors red, scarlet, vermilion. Maybe I like to tear something down to build something else in its place, look for ways to improve things. Tons to think about here.

  5. It’s the English major in me – I’m always looking to analyze metaphors and create narratives. I’d start teaching myself but I have to have a talk with my head about limiting it to just one or two decks – I barely have enough room for all the books, shoes, and crochet stuff as it is!

  6. Oh, DD!

    Sorry but I had to giggle when you got The Tower, again!

    But you certainly strike me as a strong person who learns from experience. So let us look at the positive side of that! πŸ™‚

    I’m going to have to do this spread tonight.

  7. Oh no, it just sounds like you’ve got a bit of a balancing act going on, two ‘twos’ in three cards! Like you’ve a foot in two worlds, or act as a go-between a lot.

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s