The charming and gracious Monica over at her blog, Tarot in a Teacup, did a spread the other day asking, “What is my true self?” She got a lovely three cards: The Fool, the Lovers and The Magician.
Well, some people are born under a lucky star. Others of us (moi, for instance) seem to have been born under a black hole. But I thought, this sounds lovely, and as I’ve been wanting to do more in-depth self-exploration, I thought I’d tempt fate and see what comes up. Naturally I was expecting the most dire cards, or something self-defeating and nothing in the Majors. Snork. I wasn’t far off. I first reached for my new Wizards Tarot, thinking a deck designed around the idea of teaching and learning was ideal, simply ideal, for this sort of thing. ::sound of sucking teeth:: I did, however, phrase the question wrong this time, and said, “Tell me about me.” Splitting hairs? Not really. There are many facets to each of us, and here are the three the Wizards Tarot decided to talk about:
Ok, I’m a troll. An awful lot of male, phallic symbolism here. :::pursing lips in annoyance::: I kind of think of the King there like the goblins at Gringotts Bank. Tough, pragmatic, likes things to balance out and everything is very black and white. Then we have the Ace of Wands. Creative fire, the flames in the shape of Yods mapping out the Kabbalistic Tree of Life. Followed by (cue creepy organ music) The Tower. At least in this deck, the tower is a place of learning. The staircase is shaped like the double helix of DNA. In this deck it signifies evolution, growth, and the climb to achievement and success (along with the usual meanings of upheaval, destruction, ruin). It’s purification, in no uncertain terms.
I tried pulling cards a couple more times, but I felt like I wasn’t concentrating properly and didn’t really feel a connection at the time. Finally, I pulled out my beloved Bohemian Gothic, tried to ground and center while holding them, and rethought the question, asking “What is my true self?” I felt better about it this time, and here’s what I got:
So what is going on here? First thing I thought of when I saw the Tower was ‘Gag me! Again with the Tower. And another King. And a Knight (and Pentacles, to boot). No tra-la-la lovely Majors. Fine, I give. Clearly there’s something here I’m not seeing. Maybe the two ways I phrased the question weren’t so different after all. I’ll have to spend some time ruminating on these cards.